Goodbye Bak Bak

When people ask me if I speak Chinese I tell them no because for all intents and purposes, I don't. One thing I do know is that there are specific titles for older relatives in Chinese culture. Everyone has a very specific title that tells you if they're maternal or paternal for example.


My great-grandmother, whom I call "bak bak", passed away earlier this week at the age of 99. Not many people could say they would be seeing their great-grandmother in the near future - and prior to this week I was very proud to be one of those lucky few. Ninety-nine! The more I think about it, the more incredible it seems. Just even thinking about the history she would have witnessed first-hand: both world wars, the great depression, the rise of communism in China, the start and finish of the Cold War, and the emergence of Facebook! (No, she wasn't on facebook but it would have been cool to have my great-grandma on my friends list...)

The last time I saw her was at her 99th birthday dinner back in January '09 before I left to head back to Australia. Every year, my mom's entire extended family including children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren (and this past year a great-great-grandchild!) would meet on Saturday morning/afternoon to have dim sum. It was traditionally my bak-bak's treat to take everyone out for tea and she would always come around to each table and encourage us to eat more... "You're a growing boy! Eat more shrimp dumplings!" (in Chinese of course) Then later in the evening, we would all reconvene at the same restaurant for a massive 12-course banquet style dinner. It was a pretty huge gathering of extended family with something like 5 or 6 large tables at one of the larger Chinese restaurants in Calgary. Just having so much of my extended family from my mom's side all living pretty much in Calgary is pretty cool. I think I've always taken that fact for granted over the years and being in Australia makes me realize how much I'd miss all my family if I were to settle down somewhere far from home.

I wish I could be back home to pay my respects at her funeral this weekend. I still remember the first funeral I went to. It was for my bak-gung (great-grandfather) back in 1990. I would have been six years old at the time and I remember it was the only time I've seen my poh-poh cry. If my memory is correct, it was held down at the current Chinese Pentecostal Church down in Chinatown right behind my bak-bak's apartment (which she still lived in by herself up until she passed away)...

Thanks for all the great memories bak-bak. You spoiled us great-grandkids every opportunity you had. Even when you weren't feeling well and were in hospital, you would give us candy and lay-see when we came to visit you. You will always be remembered and I'll miss you.