Saturday, October 06, 2007

The Beauty of Brokenness

Things have been pretty quiet on the blogging front. Not a ton of interesting things to talk about. Just trying not to stress out too much about my upcoming exams. In less than 3 weeks I will be all finished my 1st year in Australia! Looking forward to going back home and seeing my family and friends. Just in time too as it's starting to heat up. Spring just started not too long ago and already I leave my balcony door wide open all night and I've stopped using a blanket to sleep. Can't wait for some snow!

Had an opportunity to do a lot of self reflection. Realized that there are a lot of areas in my life where I'm self-serving. I can get super anxious about all the stuff happening in my own life and effectively shut out everyone else as I try to deal with it on my own. Humility has been brought up so many times - in sermons, in my devotions, in small groups - God must be trying to tell me something eh? The verses of the week for me come from 1 Peter 5:6-7 which state:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

It was cool because in class this week, we covered anxiety disorders and I've always struggled with worrying too much. To overcome this, I have to start with getting rid of a lot of prideful thinking and replacing it with humility. I was listening to one of my favorite bands, Starfield, who are awesome AND Canadian (no surprise there eh?) and they wrote this song called "Unashamed." The bridge of the song states, "Here I am, at Your feet, in my brokenness complete." Simple words, yes, but to actually become broken before God and just let go of everything else that's holding me back from living 100% for Him is extremely difficult. I need to make this my prayer - to realize that I can't do it all on my own and that I need God to lift me up in my weakness and shortcomings.

Unashamed - Starfield

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete

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