Thursday, April 06, 2006

Day 43: Uzziah

The Pride Dilemma

2 Chronicles 26

- made king of Judah at the age of 16 and ruled for 52 years
- started out good and did what was right in God's eyes
- was guided by the prophet Zechariah
- he defeated the Philistines and the Arabs and became very powerful. But once he got all this power, his pride led to his downfall.
- he sinned by trying to burn incense to the Lord. This act was reserved for priests only.
- as a punishment, God afflicted him with leprosy for the remainder of his life

I've spoken to many people about the issue of pride. In our weekly bible study, we've been covering Philippians and one of the biggest barriers to being completely humble and having that servant heart is pride. It messes with our minds and inhibits our reliance on God for everything. Personally, pride has been a huge issue in everything from relationships, school, work, how I act and who I try to pass myself off as. I know self-esteem is important but I find that too often I'm placing myself on top of the world (or at least trying to).

This sense of pride has given me a horrible fear of rejection. I play everything safe. Don't try to be friends with someone unless I'm sure it will work out and I won't get rejected. Haven't really considered dating anyone in part for a fear of being rejected (in part...this is a complicated issue haha). Pretty close to giving up on med school because my application (as a whole) is sub-par and I'm afraid of being rejected...and I haven't even applied once yet. Don't do too many things (games, sports, etc) that I'm not good at for fear of being rejected or dejected. Sure, everyone goes through the same thoughts but I think it has been a big obstacle in my life, keeping me from getting to where God wants me to go. And it all has to do with pride. I need to work on giving that up and not living according to my prideful/sinful human nature and just rely more on God. Pride was Uzziah's downfall. Let the priests do their job; I just need to focus on doing mine by following Christ wholeheartedly.



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